The ultimate quick guide for anyone looking to decode a birth chart quickly and have fun in the process. Written in real-world (and sometimes weirdly specific) language, this guide was created as an anecdote to the tired astrology clichés of Aries = Bold and Pisces = Dreamy! that do exactly nothing to explain things like why we’re pretty chill with our colleagues, but oddly aggressive with our romantic partners, or why people seem to think we have a dark secret about moths, when really we’re just thinking about why Grey’s Anatomy got so weird in final seasons.
This guide is perfect for anyone new to astrology, for the “kinda curious but not yet ready to spring for a custom reading,” or for those people who just want to be able to drop truth bombs over mimosas about what it it means your friend has her North Node in Libra in the 8th house.
This digital guide has over 2,000 placements, with 800+ pages.
(I know , I was kind of surprised too. Let’s just say I did not do the math before undertaking the project! 🙃)
And not just “Mars in Cancer,” but also “Mars in Cancer in the 2nd house.” Each summary is roughly a paragraph in length. Just enough to know that your North Node in Aquarius in the 9th house means you’ll probably build a philosophizing robot, but not overly long like those Netflix series stretched into 4 seasons when a 90 minute movie would have been more than enough.
Can I promise to describe you exactly? Absolutely not. For starters, proper astrology insights require an expert who can also read your aspects, and interpret a bunch of other fancy stuff.
But if you just finally want to know if maybe you can blame Mars for your why you collect to-do lists, but struggle to actually finish that water color painting you swore you would? Welcome. You’re in the right place.
If you want a sense of what to expect, here are all of my own placements, pulled directly from the document so you can get a sense of tone and what to expect. If you share any placements with me, congrats, consider it a freebie!
Format: This is a digital PDF. No physical product will be delivered.
Refund Policy: Due to the digital nature of this product, no refunds will be offered.
The ultimate quick guide for anyone looking to decode a birth chart quickly and have fun in the process. Written in real-world (and sometimes weirdly specific) language, this guide was created as an anecdote to the tired astrology clichés of Aries = Bold and Pisces = Dreamy! that do exactly nothing to explain things like why we’re pretty chill with our colleagues, but oddly aggressive with our romantic partners, or why people seem to think we have a dark secret about moths, when really we’re just thinking about why Grey’s Anatomy got so weird in final seasons.
This guide is perfect for anyone new to astrology, for the “kinda curious but not yet ready to spring for a custom reading,” or for those people who just want to be able to drop truth bombs over mimosas about what it it means your friend has her North Node in Libra in the 8th house.
This digital guide has over 2,000 placements, with 800+ pages.
(I know , I was kind of surprised too. Let’s just say I did not do the math before undertaking the project! 🙃)
And not just “Mars in Cancer,” but also “Mars in Cancer in the 2nd house.” Each summary is roughly a paragraph in length. Just enough to know that your North Node in Aquarius in the 9th house means you’ll probably build a philosophizing robot, but not overly long like those Netflix series stretched into 4 seasons when a 90 minute movie would have been more than enough.
Can I promise to describe you exactly? Absolutely not. For starters, proper astrology insights require an expert who can also read your aspects, and interpret a bunch of other fancy stuff.
But if you just finally want to know if maybe you can blame Mars for your why you collect to-do lists, but struggle to actually finish that water color painting you swore you would? Welcome. You’re in the right place.
If you want a sense of what to expect, here are all of my own placements, pulled directly from the document so you can get a sense of tone and what to expect. If you share any placements with me, congrats, consider it a freebie!
Format: This is a digital PDF. No physical product will be delivered.
Refund Policy: Due to the digital nature of this product, no refunds will be offered.
