Read this when you’re feeling trapped in a life you’re supposed to love.

Maybe your life looks good on paper. Maybe you packed the lunches, answered the emails, remembered the birthdays, paid the bills, kept the appointments, showed up to the dinners, folded the laundry, went on the vacations, and generally just built a really wonderful life. But maybe in the midst of all that, there's an ever-present tightness in your chest, like you can't quite get enough air. That feeling doesn’t always mean your life isn't incredible, sometimes it just means that it doesn't fit. Either because you've outgrown it, or it was never really meant for you. It's been ingrained in us that a fulfilled life comes from achieving our goals, reaching the classic milestones, showing up in our relationships in the "right way," and from chronic self-improvement. But a full life, the kind that that gives truly happy people that certain glow comes from living a life of alignment. It's from doing the hard work of learning who you are when nobody's looking, and of building the life you want, even it looks completely unlike the blueprint you were given. Living in alignment might mean disappointing people. Changing your mind. Wanting something quieter. Wanting something stranger. Wanting something that makes very little sense to anyone else. It’s time to stop limping around in the beautiful shoe that everyone else admires, and let yourself run barefoot toward the life that's yours.

Romanticize the ordinary. Stop waiting for life to become impressive before you decide it's worth noticing. Delight in the butter melting into your toast. The steam on the bathroom mirror. The smell of basil in the grocery store. Acknowledge the satisfaction of a freshly folded pile of laundry. Put on music while you wash the dishes. Take the longer walk home because the trees are doing their beautiful and dramatic transformation once again. Notice when your tea becomes the perfect temperature for sipping. Look up at the moon, and not just when it's full or an eclipse. Let ordinary life be enough. Only then will you understand you were never waiting for a better life. You were learning how to pay attention.

Developing a "hard shell" is not the goal. To remain unbothered and unmoved is not the way. Let yourself feel things, to feel everything. And then release. Learn to let in the sting of something sharp, the weight of heavy, the sadness when there is pain. Sensitivity is not a character flaw, and crying is not a weakness. The key is to not let these thorny emotions take up residence. To treat them as worthy visitors into your home, but never a permanent roommate. Keep yourself open enough to actually experience your life, but disciplined enough not to drown in it. Feel the difficult emotion. Thank the difficult emotion for its lesson and memory. Then politely show it the door.