Astrology & the Mid-Life Crisis

One of the first things I learned in my astrology journey after getting a handle on my birth chart and turning my learning towards transits was the oft-discussed Saturn Return.

It happens for everyone around age 30-ish and 60-ish. For the newbies out there, your Saturn Return is when Saturn has moved through all 12 of the Zodiac signs to return to the same place it was when you were born.

For example, on my birthday, Saturn was at 1 degree Scorpio. It returned to that position in October 2019 when I was 29, and will return to the position again in 2041 when I’m 58.

The short version is that your Saturn Return happens every 30 years, and its effects coincide with 2ish years of transformation. It’s a time in your life when you find yourself taking stock of your life, and are forced to reckon with the things that haven’t been working to make way for growth.

And in hindsight, I can see that my first Saturn Return happened right about the time that I blew up my entire life, quit my job, and moved across the country. But, I’ll confess: since I discovered astrology several years after my first Saturn Return, and well ahead of my second, my understanding of Saturn Return is retroactive and conceptual, rather than personal.

Which is why given my own age (42 as I write this), I’m much more actively engaged with a less-talked about transit.

The Neptune Square.

The over-simplified explanation here is that every 40-ish years, Neptune (for reference, she’s a slow-mover through the zodiac signs, so you generally share your Neptune “sign” with everyone people born the same time as you) moves into a position that’s 90 degrees from where Neptune was the day you were born—this is also known as your natal Neptune.

Anyway, in other words, this is kinda about Neptune squaring herself; where she was when you were born, and where she was 40ish years and 90 degrees after that date.

Now, in astrology, Neptune is generally a soft, floaty planet; she’s all about dreams, intuition, and spirituality. I always think of Neptune as the mystic of our planetary influence, the one who can access the other side of reality’s veil. I’m convinced that if you’ve experienced déjà vu, Neptune was probably involved. And if Neptune were a Harry Potter character, she’d be Luna. And yes, I know Luna means moon, but I said what I said and stand by it, and if you don’t know who Luna is or you’ve cancelled JK Rowling, don’t even worry about it and move on.

So back to Neptune Square. (Again, a square is simply the 90 degree angle between two planets). A square is a slightly more antagonistic aspect. Not bad (because there is no bad in astrology), but squares tend to bring conflict and friction on their path to growth.

In this case of our Neptune Square, this conflict and friction paired with a dreamy and ethereal planet means that we find ourselves questioning our life and purpose on a more existential level. It’s not uncommon to hit the Neptune Square right around 40 and all of a sudden look at everything you were steadily building in your 30s, and think,

“Wait? Is this it?!”

It sounds familiar, right? The cliché of the family man with a steady, well-paying job and responsible sedan who all of a sudden hits 40 and buys a leather jacket and red convertible, and quits showing up to work. The woman who’s been completely committed to her role as mom, and all of a sudden is like, “Hold up…where did I go?” The church-going homebody who comes home one day with a tattoo and a ticket to Dubai. The free-spirited hippie who decides at 40 that she wants the picket fence and sweater-set after all.

Most of the times, we know this as The Mid-Life Crisis.

Only us astrologers know that maybe there’s a planetary reason for it: The Neptune Square.

To ground this in something personal, I’ve been in the midst of my Neptune Square for the past couple years (though I didn’t know that was even a thing it as I was going through the heart of it) and I have been jokingly tell my husband that I start every single day writing the same thing in my journal:

What am I doing with my life?

Heavy stuff for such a whimsical planet!

And it kind of felt like it came out of nowhere. I was cruising along. Living my best life as a New York Times bestselling romance author (casual flex), something I’d wanted since I was about eight. And then all of a sudden around 39ish, something … shifted. It was no big epiphany (Neptune’s not like that), but more of a slow feeling of … maybe not discontent, so much as a sudden lack of obsession with what I thought was my dream.

And I think they were my dream. I don’t think I was lying to myself or unhappy in my 30s. And I’m 42 now, and actively writing another rom-com. All I can say for sure is that I found myself in a really confused and painful place right around 40. Every morning felt like I was waking up wanting something different, but I couldn’t quite see what through a relentless fog. I felt lost. Like there was something bigger and unknown for me out there, but that I just couldn’t see.

For some people, this is making room in their life for self-exploration and new “just for fun hobbies,” to go vegan, or sober, or to make their whole identity about marathons. Others might return to or explore religion for the first time, others find themselves in nature. And yes, others buy the cliché car, or get the tattoo in desperate attempt to scratch the elusive itch. To feel the void that’s always just out of clarity’s reach.

As far as how I finally found myself? Well, let’s just say that it’s finally making sense to me why, after a lifetime of rolling my eyes at astrology and horoscopes, and standing firmly in the camp of “prove it with science or get out,” I find myself immersed in all things tarot, witchy, and astrology.

Neptune is often about spirituality, and for me it definitely was.

My husband, I think, has struggled with my transformation. He used to be married to a woman who would laugh alongside him with the idea of Sedona, AZ being a vortex. A woman who had never even checked her horoscope, much less write them. Who didn’t have very specific thoughts of the Four of Swords card in tarot.

But these days, days, an entire section of our bookshelf is taken up with astrology books and tarot cards. He actually knows not just what VC moon is, but when it is, because I tell him every morning over coffee. He knows his own moon sign, and I don’t think he’s happy about that he knows it. (Though he’s a Virgo Sun and Capricorn Rising, so who can blame his skepticism…).

His journey is different, but no less present, in that subtle, but insidious way that is Neptune’s nature. My husband doesn’t believe in astrology, and that’s just fine by me, but I do. So I know his exact Neptune placement, and that he hasn’t been immune to The Change. His experience looks more like new and quiet boundaries that I don’t think he’s even realized he’s started to set the past couple years. The way he creates and protects time to be reflective and creative, while simultaneously making less time for small talk and shallow social niceties. He spends time spent with a pen and paper instead of on the computer, and has stocked our bookshelf with philosophy. He’s started saying no more often to other people’s agendas (mine included). Not in a defiant, rebellious kind of way, but more in what I think is his instinctive need to make time for depth instead of expectations.

As an enlightened society, we often brush off these phases as being simply part of the process of getting older. Wiser.

We can blame or attribute it grown, cynicism, or boundaries or “life’s experiences.”

The midlife crisis.

Or, we could pull up our birth chart, learn where Neptune is in the sky, relative to where it was when we were born, and allow the thought to slip in:

“I wonder…”

That is, after all … what Neptune asks of us.

Sagittarius Season

Welcome to Sagittarius season, aka that time of year you find yourself googling “can you learn archery as an adult” unironically and thinking maybe you should get around to that backpacking trip you considered for a hot minute four years ago.

It’s that time of year that wants all of us to forge new paths and say yes to adventure and the unknown.

If you’re new to astrology…

Welcome, newbies! A few things I wish I’d had spelled out plainly when I was first learning …

When I say “Sagittarius season” I simply mean stretch of time that from November 22 to December 21 2025, the sun in tropical astrology (the branch I talk about) is currently passing through the Sagittarius section of the Zodiac.

So, yes any baby born during this window would in fact “be” a Sagittarius, but I want to explain something that I struggled to grasp when I was first learning, even though it feels obvious now:

There’s a difference between Sagittarius season and being a Sagittarius. Pop astrology sometimes treats “the signs” like people or personality traits, and that can be fun, but it’s not really accurate. The Zodiac signs are more like energy; which is why you can have a lot of Sagittarius traits, even if you weren’t born in November/December (one or more of your birth chart’s other placements might be in Sag).

And even if none of the planets or your key points were dancing through Sagittarius when you were born, that doesn’t mean when you’re immune to its effects when a planet passes through Sagittarius now.

What is Sagittarius Season All About

Sagittarius energy is all about expansion and exploration. It often gets sort of over-simplified as the “traveler” energy, as though all of us will suddenly itching to hop on a plane, planning optional. But I think of it more as being about momentum. It can be about physical momentum like taking a trip or going somewhere new, but the less-talked about side of Sagittarius is that it can also be about mental and emotional momentum.

Think: fresh ideas, new directions, tackling big questions, or just an overall feeling of bright boldness, even if that’s not our usual nature. Sagittarius follows the introspective Scorpio season, so seeds you were planting during that inward-facing phase (even if you didn’t realize you were planting them) are breaking the surface and seeing the sunlight.

Here’s a personal example:

For the past several months, I’ve been scared to put my astrology-related content out there in public. In the few weeks right Halloween, I went sort of deep into the trenches (think lots of journaling) of trying to get at the root of why; what was holding me back from just… posting. Sharing. Talking about something that honestly gets me really excited.

The why is a whole other blog post for another day, but the short version was: I realized it was fear. Fear of putting myself out there into the world of astrology, tarot, witchcraft … all the woo stuff that has been calling to my soul for a couple years now. And at the root of that fear: fear of being judged for putting myself out there as a spiritual creator. Both from people in my personal life, who are not even remotely into or open to the mystical world, as well as classic imposter syndrome; fear of judgement from astrologers and tarot readers who’ve been at this so much longer than me.

It was a painful realization, and also necessary. And can’t say that the fear is gone, but it’s no coincidence that this past week, I’ve felt an influx of bold, “eff it, let’s just do it” energy. Thank you, Sagittarius season!

For you, it might look different. Maybe you’re wondering if it’s time to a new relationship or apartment. Maybe you suddenly can’t get enough of reading, perhaps in a new genre. It could be a new obsession with a hobby, philosophy, or project.

Or maybe it’s a little vague, a bit of restlessness that you’re not quite sure what to do with or what it wants from you. That’s okay! Make room for the exploration and then follow it!

Think of it this way: Sagittarius’s symbol is the archer. Imagine that you’re the archer. Point your arrow in a new direction, and then follow it.

It could be a detour, or it could be momentum on something you initiated previously, but the key is follow-through.

10 ways to make the most of Sagittarius Season’s Vibes

1. Book a day trip you’ve talked about for months and never taken.

2. Take a walk in a direction you don’t normally.

3. Pick a topic you’re curious about and go down a YouTube rabbit hole.

4. Rearrange and declutter one corner of your space so it feels less cramped and more open.

5. Sign up for an online course, an in-person class, or make time to visit a museum you wouldn’t normally.

6. Compliment someone; not their hair, their shoes, but something you genuinely admire about them.

7. Try a new brand genre, whether it’s music, podcast, or books.

8. Plan something fun for a random Tuesday instead of saving everything for weekends.

9. Dig up that “someday” list and choose one thing to act on in the next 30 days.

10. Take a different route to the grocery store even if it takes a bit longer; better yet, try a new grocery store!

Whatever it is that’s been calling your name, here’s your permission to get curious, dream big, and take your shot.