You are not the power supply

You’ve heard that introverts need alone time in order to “recharge,” and you know this to be true.

A party on Friday leaves you craving a silent Saturday. Lunch with a talkative friend leaves you wilted. A family visit leaves you longing to hibernate for a month.

What you may not have heard:

You are under no obligation to have your batteries drained in the first place.

You are not the socket for other people’s recharge, leaving them full and you empty.

There is no rule that says you must operate at 50% in the name of being sociable. That you have to let yourself get down to 25% in the name of being a “good and caring person.”

Alone time is not merely a recovery aid, a reward for “going to the thing.” You are allowed to make alone time your default state. You are allowed to make choices that enable you to stay at 100%

Save your batteries for the absolute “musts,” and let the rest of the world find their own power supply.

You are Not Broken

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This is the first entry in my Dear Introvert series—a collection of mini-essays dedicated to the quiet ones. I’ve felt called to write it for months, and am finally gathering the courage to put out there.

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You have been called quiet. Shy. Urged to “come out of your shell,” raise your hand, be more social, go more places, do more things.

To speak up, connect, to participate.

As though the only way to participate in being a human is out loud, face-to-face. As though if you just changed this tiny little thing of your entire personality, then you’d really thrive.

This is wrong. You do not need to become louder or more sociable or to meet other people where they are in order to be whole or worthy. To live a fulfilling life.

You are not less because you’re quiet. You’re not faulty because you like being alone. You are not flawed because you’d rather dream in the dark than dance in the light.

You do not need fixing. You are not broken.